Ah, Chief Dwasaho! Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose! My leader, I’m feeling très French today, but to spare you the agony, let’s commute it to English: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr coined this in 1849 — sharp wit, a taste for satire. Sound familiar? Never mind.

With time on my hands, like a good South AfriCAN, I did the unthinkable — I read the Washington Memorandum. Not to be confused with the Washington Consensus of yesteryear, no. This one is a fresh export from the desks of South AfriCAN’Ts — yes, you heard me — those who peddle doom and gloom about our beloved Mzansi at every turn.

To abuse a Daily Maverick marketing trope, these South AfriCAN’Ts are at it again. This latest memo, grandly titled the Washington Memorandum, is the handiwork of a group of Afrikaners plying their anti-South African trade/tirade under the banner of The Solidarity Movement — a club of ultra-right-wing crusaders led by AfriForum and Solidarity.

These South AfriCAN’Ts, ever the drama kings — no queens there — packed their bags and jetted off to Washington — destination: Oval Office. There they had a tête-à-tête with the representatives of the 47th US President, His Excellency “Mr Tariffs” Donald Trump, patron saint of Trumpism. A great revolution, we are told.

In practical terms, it simply means that the world — including so-called friendly nations like the European Union — must twirl to his tune, a tune that changes faster than a man swapping undergarments.

And so, my leader, the circus continues. South AfriCAN’Ts whispering sweet nothings in the ears of Uncle Sam, hoping he will swoop in and do… what, exactly? Bring regime change to a democracy? Turn back the clock?

No, we won’t be bullied. We will move on while the naysayers fume from the sidelines.

Nonetheless, I did some fact-checking on the Washington Memorandum and found it to be as hollow as a drum — plenty of noise, zero substance. It lacks not just depth but even a passing acquaintance with the truth. It is a red herring of the highest order, crafted to shield unearned apartheid privileges draped in the false nobility of victimhood.

If you missed the memo, here is a truncated version: During the visit to the White House, the Trump administration was requested to intensify pressure on ANC leaders to, among other matters:

End discrimination against Afrikaners by, among other things, revising the “anti-Afrikaans” Basic Education Laws Amendment (Bela) Act and racial legislation. Fact: The BELA Act isn’t an anti-Afrikaans law. It aligns the basic education laws with various court judgments. The famous Ermelo Judgment by the Constitutional Court ruled that the head of a provincial education department may revoke the school governing bodies’ language policy if it undermines the constitutional right of learners to basic education or perpetuates racial exclusion;

Act strongly against hate speech that incites violence, such as farm murders in which Afrikaners are the target. Fact: According to 2024/25 third-quarter crime stats, out of 6 953 reported murders, 12 farm murders were recorded. These included a farmer, five farm dwellers, four employees, a security guard, and one individual who was not specified. Second, most hate speech crimes are committed against blacks, being routinely called “k*****”. Vicki Momberg holds the record as the first white person sent directly to jail for a racial slur;

Respect the right to property ownership by, among other things, revising the Expropriation Act. Fact: The Expropriation Act respects property rights enshrined in section 25 of the Constitution. Constitutional law expert Pierre de Vos of the University of Cape Town settled the matter, writing that some critics ignore the fact that the Act still requires just and equitable compensation, agreed by the parties or set by courts, so the “nil compensation” provision does not allow expropriation without it, except for “abandoned or unused land”, and even that for public purposes; and

Enter into a cultural agreement with Afrikaners that will provide cultural space for Afrikaners in South Africa, including the existence of Afrikaans educational institutions. Fact: Section 29(3) of the Constitution allows that “everyone has the right to establish and maintain, at their own expense, independent educational institutions”, with a caveat not to perpetuate discrimination of any sort.

It would be laughable if it were not so tragic. The same people weeping before King Trump to intervene almost own the country and all its productive assets. Fact: White commercial farmers (around 44 000 farming units) own 61-million hectares – 78% of the farmland that comes with private title deeds or 50% of all land in South Africa.

According to South Africa’s Commission for Employment Equity 2024 report, 62.1% of the top managers are white, followed by 17.2% of the African population, 11.6% of Indians, 6.1% of Coloureds, and 3% of foreign nationals.

A 2025 analysis revealed that roughly half of all white adults in South Africa possess wealth of at least R250 000, compared to only 3% of black adults.

Furthermore, a study comparing wealth disparities found that the typical black household in South Africa owns only 5% of the wealth held by the typical white household. This stark contrast highlights the enduring economic inequalities along racial lines.

Data from Statistics South Africa (StatsSA) Quarterly Labour Force Survey for the third quarter of 2024 shows that the unemployment rate among black Africans remains significantly higher than that of other population groups, standing at 36.1%. According to the StatsSA Census 2022, 4 504 252 white people live here, constituting 7.3% of the total population, yet their unemployment rate is 7.9%.

Spencer Stuart’s 2023 South Africa Board Index: This report reveals that 36% of the 601 executive and non-executive directors across the Johannesburg Stock Exchange (JSE) top 50 companies are from historically disadvantaged backgrounds, implying that 64% are white.

Notably, 14.3% of these companies reported having no directors from historically disadvantaged backgrounds on their boards, a figure that has doubled over the past decade.

Yet, these are the same folks pleading with President Trump “that humanitarian assistance offered to Afrikaners by the US will also include assistance to Afrikaners who envision a future for themselves at the southernmost tip of Africa”.

The only “humanitarian crisis” here is that some want to have their apartheid cake and eat it too.

Leading the delegation to the US were AfriForum CEO Kallie Kriel, Solidarity’s chairperson Flip Buys, Dr Dirk Hermann and Jaco Kleynhans — four men on a mission to rewrite history, whitewash privilege, and beg King Trump for a pat on the head.

If they had read history, they would have known that long before their long trek to Washington, black South Africans had done the same in 1914, taking their grievances about the Natives Land Act of 1913 to the British Empire.

Their plea was simple: do not exclude black South Africans from governance (Union of South Africa) and reverse the draconian law that had turned them into landless subjects in their own country. King George V nodded, sipped his tea, and did absolutely nothing. The delegation returned home with dashed dreams, but their resolve was intact.

Fast forward to 1948 — Afrikaner nationalists seized power and perfected what the British had started. Apartheid was born, a grotesque system of racial engineering that entrenched white supremacy with ruthless precision. It was no longer just about land — it was about total domination. Separate everything — schools, buses, jobs, beaches, even park benches.

Black South Africans were not just excluded from government; they were stripped of citizenship, herded into Bantustans and relegated to a permanent underclass. The apartheid government even prescribed that white people not have sex with blacks.

In 1973, the United Nations declared apartheid a crime against humanity. It took 82 years of resistance, international sanctions and relentless struggle, including over 21 000 dead black bodies, before the walls of the apartheid/colonial regime came tumbling down in 1994.

But here we are, in 2025, with the descendants of apartheid’s architects running back to the halls of empire — not in repentance, but to peddle the myth of their oppression. The irony is inescapable. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

Till next week, my man. Send this to the Oval Office for a second round of the International Shouting Olympics.

Written by Bhekisisa Mncube, author and columnist who won the national 2024 Standard Bank Sikuvile Journalism Award for columns/editorials, as well as the same category at the regional 2020 Vodacom Journalist of the Year Awards.

This opinion piece was originally published in the Daily Maverick.